speriod:

Last night, a kind friend of mine managed to pull some strings to get me into Fiona Apple’s secret show at the Boom Boom Room. It was all very mysterious. There were no announcements made about it. I even sent an email to her publicist last week to say that I was listed and just wanted to make sure she would even be there.

The place was packed with the obnoxious type of crowd you’d expect to be at the Boom Boom Room. Angular face bones, manicured brows, slick hair, expensive outfits… I went dressed in some shit I bought from I think was Uniqlo? W/E.

Anyways, Fiona emerged around midnight. She waltzed out and set it off with “Fast As You Can.” Her voice is perfect. Her behavior was flailing and unkempt, though she seemed to have a grip on it, meaning that she wasn’t about to start sobbing and ripping out her hair (That’s what happened when I saw her at that fateful Roseland performance in 2000. It was as disastrous as they say it was).

The set was exactly what I wanted. “Sleep to Dream,” “On the Bound,” “Anything We Want,” “Paper Bag” and “Criminal.” Fiona looked like she hated being at the Boom Boom Room. She even paused at one point to say, “I hear they have the best conversations at the Boom Boom Room, right? The Boom Boom Room? Keep having the best conversations.” How did she even get here?

The only thing that threw me off was the fact that she looked like she was about to crack in half. Girlfriend got thin. I’m talking a skeleton wearing a skinsuit made of Fiona Apple. Walking up and down hills eight hours a day will do that to you. It was worrisome. And also, as you’d figure about a show at the Boom Boom Room, many people didn’t even know a single Fiona song. So you’re right to assume that I shouted her lyrics extra loud to make it as irritating as possible for all those beautiful people.

The set lasted less than a half-hour. It was strong. She hasn’t faltered. That, alone, was worth braving the Room of Boom.

Oh my GOD, I’m glad that she’s back. Totally jealous that I didn’t get to see this show with a bunch of douches.

There is apparently a new Fiona Apple record on its way to us. It has, I’ve heard, a verbose title similar to her second album. This makes me feel super excited like a kid and kind of scared at the same time. Fiona and I, we’ve been through a lot since we first met (over radio waves in Austin, Texas). And, it’s not like her songs were ribbons and kittens when we were babies- they were pretty emotionally hardcore even then. There’s the real potential for this new set of songs to be brutal. Which is ultimately just incredibly thrilling to think about. 

I’ve begun to judge people by how they react to the mention of Fiona. People who scoff? They’re not thinking very hard. It’s like, you wear your underwear in a video once and you’re labelled for life. 

I love this woman.