Tick Tock
I feel much better about things now that Justin Timberlake is in his 30’s.
January 2011
19 posts
Torture Idea
Schedule a mandatory wine tasting the day after the company open bar party. Wait- someone already thought of that.
Play
Movie Moments Circa 00's- Take 3
Catherine Keener, when she’s trying to sell her hand-painted gift wrapping paper to a shop in Lovely and Amazing. The shopkeeper very gently tries to tell her that they aren’t interested and she replies, “This shit’s pretty!” I’ve tried to mimic her delivery for years now and I’m a complete failure because Keener is a genius.
“Look, Andrew Garfield”
—
What my roommate said to me on the streetcar to point out a cute guy. Apparently this is just what we’re calling hot men now? (via chainletter2)
Cut. Print. Send a letter to the OED. I’m completely behind this.
Movie Moments Circa 00's- Take 2
The little girl singing “All I Want For Christmas Is You” from Love, Actually. A of all, she was glorious. B of all, I think a serious argument could be made for that being the moment that cemented that song as a modern Christmas classic. That is all. Seriously, think about it. Wasn’t that the thing that made you stop thinking of it as a Mariah song and just a great fucking song?
Questionable Movie Reactions
Is it alright that I desperately wanted Ben Affleck to get away with all of his crimes in The Town? I don’t feel OK about it, but I FELT it. Also, great movie. And, I only found one moment of Blake Lively’s performance false. I also learned/realized that she’s a face actor and there’s nothing wrong with that, really. Just, please don’t let her be the next person to decide to do Broadway. I’ll eat her for dinner.
Walls
I know you’re all wondering why I haven’t posted about P90X. Listen, I can intuit things and I know, without you having to say it, that you’re begging, “Why won’t he announce his progress? Did he sprain something? Is he on a bender?” Well, I’ll tell you, no, maybe.
I’m living in a loft space in Greenpoint. It’s a converted theatre, so the rooms are of considerably less sturdy construction than the Ft. Knox exterior. And, I’m afraid that the pull-up bar is unsuitable for my bedroom door. And, I feel stupid about asking my roommate if he minds me temporarily putting the brackets for the bar over the bathroom- the only door that is part of a weight-bearing wall. And, I don’t really want to work out in the bathroom. Why has this all become so complicated? Seriously, I’m gonna look rad when this is over. And, I’m immediately going to have my headshots retaken, so I can obsess for the next 5 years about not being as fit as my picture. I really understand the biz, you see. But, first, I need to figure out this pull-up bar thing. All of the literature makes it sound like you HAVE to use this bar but I wonder if that’s just their way of making you buy it. Ugh.
Here's the thing...
…I’m so obsessed with Black Swan, I’m totally going to see the movie that Natalie Portman did with Ashton Kutcher. Peace.
So Happy →
apostrophebooks.org
My wonderful and old friend (we’ve known each other for a long time. She’s not actually old. She’s young and lovely) Jessica Baran is publishing her first book of poetry, entitled Remains to Be Used. I can’t tell you how excited I am for her.
Poetry had really eluded me until I became friends with Jessica. She, and this is not to sound hokey, speaks naturally with the distilled emotion and rhythmic tone of what I’ve come to appreciate as the best poetry. I could honestly write a book filled with the things that Jessica said to me that have been seared on my brain, most of which she probably wouldn’t even remember (for a host of reasons, I’m afraid. What? We were young and crazy and living in New York- mostly though, she wouldn’t remember because she’s so full of incise and clever chestnuts).
If you plan on buying a book of poetry this year, I seriously suggest you check out Jessica’s work.
Weird yet potentially amazing birthday celebration idea
With my friends waiting in a bar in midtown, I walk around Times Square and find the cutest (this is important later) barker for a comedy club, tell him that, yes, I like comedy and maybe I’ll come to his show. Real noncommittal-like. Then, I show up with 30 people (I’m imagining that as the number of people who will want to celebrate my 25th) and the guy will feel like Dane Cook for the day. He’ll get like 10 minutes onstage and we’ll laugh and laugh. It’ll be amazing. And, because comics are notoriously desperate characters, we’ll likely make out. I mean, I did just make his life happen.
Play
Twenty Movies That Should Be Adapted Into Broadway Musicals:
- Valley of the Dolls
- My Cousin Vinny
- Troop Beverly Hills
- Waiting for Guffman
- Beetlejuice
- Four Weddings and a Funeral
- Tootsie
- The Sting
- Defending Your Life
- My Best Friend’s Wedding
- A Fish Called Wanda
- Clue
- Soapdish
- Miss Congeniality
- Sabrina
- My Blue Heaven
- The Hudsucker Proxy
- Heathers
- Party Girl
- Too Wong Foo: Thanks For Everything, Julie Newmar
Tootsie: The Musical could practically write itself. I’m actually a little shocked that it hasn’t been done. Same with A Fish Called Wanda given the success of Spamalot. Otherwise, can you imagine the stage mother/hormonal teen girl NIGHTMARE that Troop Beverly Hills would be backstage? Dr. Phil would have to stage manage.
