April 2013
3 posts
“Art is either plagiarism or revolution.”
– Marcel Duchamp (via atelierellsworth)
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I Can't Let This Go
On Sunday, the Easter Witch (aka my friend Bananda Slacks) and I were just shooting the shiz and out of that shiz came a diamond. My drag name
Tanqueray Sidibe
I mean, COME ON! I don’t mean to toot me own bugle, but that’s pretty fucking brilliant. I don’t even know what to do with it now.
March 2013
6 posts
danielextra: Heard on the Subway: Talking about... →
rafi-dangelo:
I was on my way to work, zoned out listening to some old school Shania Twain to get my life right, when two construction worker types got on the train at Penn Station. They were both middle-aged white guys with Long Island accents, mustaches, dirty jeans — the type of guys…
Man, I love this. The fact that there’s no hint of fear.
February 2013
26 posts
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Azealia Banks Does Harlem Shake; Internet Doesn't... →
Oh girl. Love it.
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You Say/I say
You say the acceptance of gay people and their relationships will be the downfall of Western Civilization? I say the end is coming because of people taking pictures of their food.
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Speaking of therapy
My doc likes to wrap up my feelings sometimes with an analogy based on some part of my life. Today, for instance, there was a signal malfunction on my train and I was 30 minutes late. You can imagine what overbaked sentiment that evoked. I love those analogies though. It makes me feel like I’m on Sex and the City or Grey’s Anatomy or Dexter or Enlightened. Wait, I don’t want to...
1 tag
Common
This has got to be something that a lot of people think about but I realize that it has really been weighing on me lately. I care so much about whether my therapist likes me or not. Like I leave sessions concerned about if I was entertaining or not. So beside the point. I’m obviously getting so much out of this process.
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Next →
Has anyone heard anything about this show getting picked up for another season? It has been a long time since I’ve been as invested as I am in seeing more of something.
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THE MAKAHA DROWNER DUAL STRIPE SHORT - Steven Alan →
So, I’m going to have to have these shorts. I commit to wearing them every day of the summer once I have them. They are not cheap. I don’t think I’ll have any choice really but to wear them every day. I’ll probably have to hand wash them too, since laundry will be out of the question. I’m going to have to start a garden too. For food.
3 tags
Facing Your Fears
I just realized something about myself. When I think of the possibility of leaving New York, there’s a nagging in my subconscious that scares me. So, I’ll usually stop thinking about it altogether. Just now, I decided to not turn away from the fear. I looked into it. What did I find? Seriously, the most cogent synthesis of this fear? I don’t know where I’d get my hair cut.
...
“Hope Springs” IS the most underrated movie of the year! Everybody was lining up...”
– Fine, a few people said that “Pitch Perfect” was good and that’s because it was perfect. “Hope Springs” did see at least some action at awards time though and “Pitch Perfect” got nada. I mean, do we really think that Jacki Weaver was more effective than...
3 tags
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“Jeff the waiter and Carl check in at the same time. Apparently, Jeff has a...”
– It’s Not a Mint
I think I’m seriously obsessed with this show now.
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Incomplete Party
I’ve worked in the service industry for a while. And, obviously, I’m familiar with the internet. That means that I’ve been privy to the whole phenomenon of customer/published critic and I’ve actually seen it affect people’s lives. Not that it shouldn’t- if you’re an asshole to people and they publish on Yelp that you (using your name) were an asshole to...
“Dance like everyone is watching.”
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Email
Keeping with my theme of shame, I’m taking a hard look at my email inbox. There are currently 703 unread messages. I get it, it’s insane. But, life doesn’t happen at the pace we want all the time and sometimes I don’t have the attention that Amanda & Merrill deserve, so I save the email. Then, others come. It’s a thing. It’s disgusting. I hate myself.
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Shame
Not the hot super-entertaining film, but instead how it looks like I’m going to be living my Spring. I’m starting P90X again and I realize that my choices are to either turn into a weird infantilized meathead or a self-hater. I really feel like the program requires that from you. So, I have no choice. Let hate, let go.
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Religion
Me: OMG The Pope is retiring. THE POPE IS RETIRING!!!
Amanda: Quitter
Me: I don't really care. I just want to FEEL SOMETHING.
Amanda: Hahaha, I'm sorry to laugh but that shit is funny.
Me: You're supposed to laugh.
Amanda: I mean, some day you're gonna be in a place where you don't want me to laugh so I'm getting used to apologizing.
Me: Thanks for the prediction.
2 tags
Bunheads 1x16 "There's Nothing Worse Than a...
televisionwithoutpity:
Michelle has to practice her best Hillary Clinton. Ginny does her best Sutton Foster. The results vary.
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January 2013
23 posts
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Close Call
Someone almost spoiled this week’s The Biggest Loser for me. I would have been raging like King Lear if that had been the case.
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Stay Tuned
In a few weeks, my friend Dustin and I are going to start doing stand-up open mics. I personally have an almost fetish-like need to put myself in potentially mortifying situations, so this can only turn out well. Throw in the added benefit of taking some pressure off of my sex life (see: need for mortifying situations) and this is really just going to be the best 2013 ever.
Also, I want to be Tig...
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Dork
That cop thing I wrote about earlier may be the single geekiest thing that I’ve ever released into the planet. But, speaking of cops, did you know that Nia Vardalos is apparently still relevant enough to warrant mention as a special guest star on an ad for Law & Order: The Sexy One? Someone at NBC thinks so.
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Cat
My roommate’s cat is in heat. Y’all, females are DISGUSTING. But, this cat has good timing to start this while ScarJo is currently triumphing in the Broadway revival of Cat on a Hot Tin Roof. I may be overreaching when I say “triumph,” but I’m trying to sympathize with this cat and there are NO QUITTERS in the Long Family.
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‘No Honking’ Signs Deemed Completely Useless →
I have always said that, were I a cop, I would completely fulfill my citation quota by ticketing people for honking their horns unnecessarily. I actually think that it would be both a quality of life benefit, as well as a safety benefit. If people were more likely to think of a car horn as an alarm as opposed to just ambient noise in a noisy city, that would obviously be a good thing.
Dear women with long nails,
drinkyourjuice:
How do you:
masturbate
text
wipe your butt
button things
handle cutlery
type
shake hands
tie anything
turn pages
tweeze
fasten a bra
give hand js
live
Pls reply.
I completely believe in making “hand j’s” a part of the vernacular and I do my best to reference them often.
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Luke Wilson
GeeehZUS, this guy is doing hands-down the absolute best work of his career on Enlightened. All of the stuff that he’s showing: apathy, rage, cool-guy pragmatism. All at once and it’s just one of the most fascinating characterizations. I find it crazy that I would say this about a show that stars Laura Dern and Mike White and Diane Ladd, but I think that the episodes about Levi are my...
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My Head Just Exploded
If you say “mischief” really fast and with a little bit of a Southern accent, it sounds like “Miss Jeff”. Shoot me.
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“Michelle shows up at Fanny’s door with two very large travel mugs. I’m assuming...”
– I’ll Be Your Meyer Lansky
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“He interviews that, for him, sewing is like sex. You have to be in the mood....”
– Go Big or Go Home 